Getting caught up in the Holiday Saptacular

I’m not a very sentimental person. I am terrible at taking compliments. I avoid situations that encourage hugging, crying, and reflection. I hate ice-breakers. In fact, public displays of humanity often make me uncomfortable. But in one regard, I’m the most simpering, saccharine fool.

LOVE,LOVELOVE cable holiday romance movies.

I love them. I make room on the DVR, record them all, and watch them. Alright, almost all of them. Some I won’t, because who needs that many holiday rom-coms about Christmas cookies?

ME. I need both of those Christmas cookie movies.

Fine, some movies I’ll never get to. Because sleep. Because work. Because life.

But yes, some I’ll watch twice, even if it’s the 2am repeat. Or the 4am repeat. And I will not be ashamed.

These movies are incredibly formulaic. And I love them for it. There’s always some personal crisis (financial troubles, being a modern cynic who has no time for love or Christmas, a difficult but hot boss wants to shut down the factory, life-changing amnesia, you keep trying to make your distant dad proud of you, a superstar misses their small-time hometown, love in the big city vs. small town, etc.). Holiday shenanigans ensue (find out your boyfriend’s parents are THE Clauses, have to decorate a department store holiday window display, save the Christmas Village from evil developers, Carrie Fisher is your ghost of Christmas past, etc.), and of course, true love.

Christmas for the win!

One of my favorite parts is that just about every film stars “someone you recognize from that movie, or that tv show, you know the one.” Chances are, it’s a Canadian. Even better, usually, it’s someone who starred on your favorite guilty pleasure 1990s daytime soap, nighttime soap, or Nickelodeon show. If you’re ever unsure about who that actress is, there’s a very good chance it’s Alicia Witt, Candace Cameron-Bure, Lori Loughlin, or Lacey Chabert. They’ve somehow never aged, which explains their strange, yet strangely comforting, monopoly on holiday romance leading lady roles. And yes, that man? That manThat man is Alan Thicke. That other guy? He’s probably Luke Macfarlane.

If you’re so inclined, you too, can call in to work sexy for the next two months, because Hallmark* is streaming these movies something like 18 hours a day from October 28th to January 1st. There is so much awesomeness, that Entertainment Weekly started talking about it back in September!

If I don’t post much between now and then, you know what I’ll be doing.

*Please note that there is not one, but TWO Hallmark channels. There’s the regular Hallmark Channel, and the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Channel– this is a whole other Hallmark channel with their very own Christmas movie listings! In fact, Hallmark hired your favorite stars to tell you, tell you again, then tell you again, about their two channels for holiday awesomeness!

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Don’t you miss Kellie Martin?

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[Featured photo is the logo of the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Channel’s 2016 Holiday Movie series.]