Have you ever imagined a completely different life?
I was asked that question yesterday, and for some reason, I didn’t hesitate:
“I would be promiscuous.”
At the time, and especially in hindsight, I knew I didn’t really mean, simply promiscuous, randomly sexing up strangers.
What I meant that is that I would try more things, be more daring. Even on the relationship front, I guess to be completely different from the life I have, I would have dated more. (Considering I married the only two guys who ever asked me out, it wouldn’t take much to accomplish more.)*
This isn’t about forsaking my marriage, or even a referendum on my marriage, or marriage in general. This is about an alternate timeline where I didn’t get married – either time, I suppose. Only because so many of my life choices are anchored by this core relationship, that a completely different life would almost necessitate not being married at all.
Just as anchoring as a marriage, work can often lay one’s path down in set trajectory. I once spent twenty minutes trying to come up with the names of three active friendships that didn’t start out as co-worker relationships. Couldn’t do it.
I guess what I mean is that to imagine a completely different life would be to consider what parts of my life are bedrock elements, such that changing them would mean changing my destiny.
Could I handle such life alteration? Would the thrill of newness and adventure outweigh the fear of the unknown?
Maybe I’ll start by giving up coffee. Let’s see where that takes me.
*This fact will require some closer introspection at some point. I’ve simply been unwilling to face this strange fact about myself…