Should I stay, or should I go?
Whether I’m ready or not, perhaps it’s time to say farewell to my most dysfunctional relationship…
I’ve gone as far as I can go with this organization. As deeply rewarding as this work has been, it’s taken a toll on my personal life. It often grows all-consuming, and I’m finding myself less able to leave things “at work”. My sick days aren’t sick days, and I feel guilty taking vacation. Not that I’ve taken a real vacation in 2 years, just a day off here and there, after a long busy run, or when I just fall apart.
That I’ve been there for so long means I’m in the inner circle of all news – good or bad. As one of the most skilled and knowledgable folks there, that just means I’m one of the people expected to take on more when sh*t hits. I used to be proud to be able to do that for my organization. But it wears on the psyche and the soul.
I still want to be challenged. I still want to feel I have a vocation, not just a job. Am I ready – willing? – to make the change? Or am I just afraid a change is going to happen to me?
This Wednesday is the worst Monday ever.