Bite me. 

Going out to dinner is easy. Relationships are hard.

[The interwebs breaks out in a collective yawn here.]

Apparently there are all these trigger words and conversations that make people go berserk.

Apparently, you shouldn’t have more than one serving of dinner. Even if it is the perfect specimen of fine Italian cuisine.

Apparently, I don’t know what the warning signs are, or when to stop.

Apparently, my eyes are too big for my stomach, but my foot fits into my mouth just fine.

I’d hate to think about what happens when I lose my appetite.