The Adventures of Sidewalk Superhero and the Bad Parent

Full disclosure: I’m not a parent.

Given that, maybe it’s judgmental to call out parents as bad. But, even non-parents know that adult caregivers’ first priority should be keeping the kid alive. Generally speaking.

Here’s our story:

Sidewalk Superhero is walking down a busy Brooklyn sidewalk, when alongside her comes a mom pushing a stroller.

Stroller mom

Illustration borrowed with love from “Life in the Pitts” blog.

It’s a busy sidewalk, and as most New Yorkers, Sidewalk Superhero is typing away on her phone, not letting a single work email pass her by. And like many other New Yorkers, Stroller Mom is making like she’s going to try to cross the street against the light, catching a *short* break in the flow of traffic. At the last minute, she realizes this folly and stops short.

In this moment, out of the corner of her left eye, Sidewalk Superhero sees something fly out of the stroller and into the street.

Stick figure falling

Image courtesy of ExplodingDog.com

“That can’t be a real baby!” she thinks to herself. Then she spots something out of the corner of her right eye, and simultaneously thinks, “But that sure as hell is a real bus!”

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 12.01.43 AM

In the blink of two eyes, she steps out into the street and scoops the real live baby out of the street, and Oblivious Mom (downgraded from Stroller Mom) snatches him out of her hands, and puts him back in the stroller.

Mr. Bus Driver, bless his heart and reflexes, has stopped the bus in the middle of the intersection, letting this tableau play out. While he has successfully not accidentally run over the child, I think we all know who the real hero of this story is.

Stick figure hero

Image is also from ExlplodingDog, featured in an interview for mindpollution.com

Morals of the story:
Parents/Caregivers: Stroller straps. Use them.
Sidewalk Superheros-to-Be: Look up every once in a while, you never know when your lighting-fast texting reflexes will come in handy for the good of humanity.

P.S. Oblivious Mom was just that. Nary a thanks, nor a kind grunt passed her lips.