Effort vs. Worth; 364 days to a brand new me

How much am I worth?

My bank statement notwithstanding, I like to think I’m worth my ample weight in Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Which will someday be real and valuable currency, I’m sure. And I hope that I’ve earned that.

But how does my worth add up in the life circles I travel? And by what standards am I assessed?By what standards do I assess myself? I certainly hope that I give as much as I take, though sometimes, I know I hold back. Whether this is selfishness or laziness, I know I need to figure out, because I don’t want to take anything or anyone for granted.

How do I know that I value myself? Does my self-worth determine or influence others’ estimation of me? Does it matter if they love me, if I love me more?

I ask these questions, as I end another year/start another year today.

As birthdays tend to be for me these days, today is a day for celebration and quiet reflection. If you’re picturing me eating cake, alone in the dark, you’re wrong. The light of the television is pretty bright.

Though I know that I accomplished some things that I never wrote down, I think I pretty much failed my 40-for-40 self-challenge.  However, I do not believe that this means I’m starting my 41st year (or is it 42nd year, because we start at 0? Too much math.) as a failure. The little wisdom I’ve earned at this stage of my life tells me it’s just that I haven’t tried hard enough – which is a surmountable goal.

Here’s to trying. To finishing my 40-for-40 list, with at least one to grow on. With only 364 days to go, I guess I’ll start by putting down this cake.

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