June 22

I can’t be seen with you


Image courtesy of uglyoutfitsnyc.com

Isn’t the old joke how wives are bossy shrews and husbands are henpecked? It’s a trope I’ve long tried to avoid, yet every once in a while gnet sucked into. My downfall? A husband that has a tendency to dress like a 15 year old boy.

He’s already a gangly Jack to my Reubenesque Mrs. Sprat, so when he puts on a tan shirt over khaki cargo shorts, of course topped with a Yankee cap, the scene is awash in prepubescent unbespokenness. I feel like a chaperone on a middle school field trip. Or worse, like his…mother.

I try not to ‘dress’ my husband. I’ve given him helpful advice on some looks to avoid, but try not to say ‘wear this, not that.’ I’m no fashion plate myself, but am confident in at least being age-appropriate (if strangers are to be believed, that age is 35.)

I’m not asking for GQ here, I’d be happy if he used the Sears catalogue as a guide. If you’re not color-blind, then you can make an effort to figure out what doesn’t go with what, and how to avoid looking like the UPS delivery guy. If you do slip up, do it infrequently, so that with enough willpower I can almost ignore it when it happens.

But don’t worry. I love you. You’re perfect. Now change.