In the pursuit of…

Picture 14Mid-life crises are the pursuit of something…more? better? aspirational? I could really go for one right now, but they’re so 1990s. That, and I can’t afford one.

But pursue I must. Happiness. Fulfillment. Job satisfaction.  I’m even feeling slightly motivated to pursue physical improvement.    Do I do it for myself? My family (imagined, dysfunctional, and otherwise)? Is making a change now an improvement? Or an act of cowardice. Is a better job for more money a step in the right direction? Or rather the glory of a different job for more meaning? Is the pursuit of my own happiness an act of bravery, or extreme selfishness? I mean, isn’t a better, happier me better for the the world at-large?

Though, it strikes me – given that my life expectancy is likely shortened because my heart and/or liver are bound to explode soon, then that would place my ‘mid’ life point about 10-15 years ago. I’m not really good at math, but I think that means I’m going to die in the next few weeks. So really, the whole line of exploration might be moot.